hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
