My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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