either way he was missing a nipple.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
