Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize