do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Its about making memories worth repressing
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
