I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
