I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
