I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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