who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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