I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
