possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
