So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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