he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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