who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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