My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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