aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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