Plan B is the new Plan A
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
