We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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