Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
