can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
