So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
