She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
