I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
