please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
