Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
