It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize