I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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