eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
