Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
