PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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