people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
