it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
