You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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