I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm passing your future prison.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
