oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
