plz talk dirty to me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
