Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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