No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you traded sex for a burrito?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
