how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
