There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Panties = found
Randomize
