Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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