If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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