Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
