where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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