I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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