I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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