I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sext me about skeletons
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
