Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
