dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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