i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
