I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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