That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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