So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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