He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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