ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
