Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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