why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
