Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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