D3 body, D1 cock
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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